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And I find that while many introverts understand the extrovert, simply because it’s the prevailing temperament, the reverse is not always true. I figured out, through trial and error, that if I talked about what I was actually thinking, most people would lose interest or not understand or think I was crazy. When I did respond, I’d hear things like, “Why would you think about that? Sometimes it was simply, “That’s…interesting”, accompanying a blank stare and a moment of dead silence. On a first date, we cozied up with a bottle of red in a bar.
Here are a few of the misunderstandings about the introvert: One of my dearest friends gave me a compliment that I treasure. ” and the occasional (and infuriating) “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours? My personal favorite: A man I was seeing was always inquiring about my thoughts because he claimed I was the smartest person he knew. We were in a booth next to a window that overlooked the busy streets and it was pouring rain.
Commit to going regularly so you can see someone you may be interested in a couple of times.
On the Catholic Match temperament spectrum, that makes me some combination of melancholic and phlegmatic.
Choose activities where you are meeting like minded people with some interest or cause in common. I recommend online dating for my introverted clients because it’s a solitary activity and you are relating on an one on one basis.
people will judge you on your attributes and online photo instead of how good act in large groups. Choose groups that are smaller and where people get to know you time after time.
Also, if I was really honest about where I wanted to go on dates, it caused problems.
My staunch refusal to go to loud bars or nightclubs, and my disdain for huge, raucous parties, crowds, chaos and noise was met with hostile resistance or utter confusion.
I began to see just how misunderstood I’d been for most of my life — particularly when dating.
Introverts gain energy in quiet spaces, preferably in a state of contemplation and intense concentration.
The introverts among us are the artists, writers, researchers and mathematicians who need solitude to work. Introverts make up only about 25 to 30 percent of the population.
They are the ones who are upbeat and outgoing, embracing a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to have a small circle friends who are much closer than, and distinct from, their acquaintances.